Nice to meet you. My name is breast cancer.
How do I even begin to explain how/when/why breast cancer greeted me in 2020!
Let’s start at (somewhat) the beginning – In the midst of an already chaotic year, having lost my mother the year prior and having been witness to a pandemic that took many loved ones from us, it was safe to say that 2020 was not going to be missed.
I felt very fortunate during that time. I was blessed with a steady job, a core group of friends and family that made it feel safe in a time where New York was the LAST place you wanted to be in. Fast-forward to the summer, I had gotten in the best shape of my life. The absence of happy hours and restaurant dining really set the stage for it to be the year I would get to and sustain my ideal weight. Little did I know this would be the least of my worries in the months that followed.
I was working out every single day and seeing the results. I had my cheat days (ok, maybe cheat weeks at times lol) but this time around felt differently. I was quickly dropping pounds in a way that I hadn’t before, and I thought to myself! WOW, it must be working this time.
Never did I feel an ounce of fatigue, pains, or discomfort.
The only way to know that that my body was fighting back something was through a massive hair loss at the beginning of the year. I had multiple blood tests and doctors concluded that it was due to stress from my mom’s passing and the stress of the pandemic.
I am not saying that this is the same for everyone because it isn’t! but for me, the hair and fast weight loss were signs of a diagnosis that would forever change my life and my purpose.
Now its August and like everyone, my friends and I were looking for levity and so I decided to have a themed “beach party” in my house (there’s an actual picture in my IG on that day that I can’t look at.) In adjusting the top of that dress and after many drinks and laughs, I noticed a large lump on my right breast. I sobered immediately - Thinking about it now, it’s almost as if I knew right away something was not right.
I made an appointment for two days after that with my gyno, who had seen me earlier in the year for a checkup and assured me that given its size and my zero-cancer family history, it was most likely not cancerous. She advised for me to schedule a mammo (I was dreading it being under 40) which I was able to get for a month later. Once I made the appointment, I forgot all about it.
Out of sight, out of mind.
September 9th was my mammo and I was bombarded by PINK everything but given that it’s my favorite color, I took a breath and got it done. I saw the technician begin looking at me differently, she knew something that I didn’t. She asked other nurses to come in, then a doctor, then another one. No one talked to me, but they certainly were having a conversation with their eyes – one that I was clearly not invited to.
Once they finished their “conversation”, they calmy came to me and advised me to get a biopsy. There had been a cancellation the next day and without asking my availability, they booked me for the following day. Hmmmm, weird but ok – I thought.
Next day, I underwent my biopsy, it was very painful given that my breasts are naturally dense and again the unspoken conversation between the staff began. I started crying out of anxiety and confusion. Why Is there a needle being jammed into my breast back and forth?!? I could see in the screen what they were pushing to get to – this is the first time I met my breast cancer.
I left that appointment and they said they would call me once they had the results; it was a Thursday and was hoping they wouldn’t leave me hanging over the weekend with this cloud over my head. Anxiety increased but I thought to myself “I can’t possibly have breast cancer!”
Boy was I wrong.
September 11th – an already dark and emotionally charged day; I got a call from my gyno. She was stumbling with her words. I could tell she was nervous and as I was sitting in my apartment, she said the words I was dreading to hear and most likely the hardest part of this whole journey to date: “Ms. Vega I am so sorry, but you have breast cancer – we won’t know the stage and the severity until we team you up with a breast surgeon who will advise of next steps. The lump is a about 3cm long”
My stomach dropped. Breast cancer then greeted me with all its glory. I touched this growing lump and became obsessed with checking its growing dimensions, how could I not have felt it all this time? I didn’t want to greet it back, instead I wanted to make it clear that this was an unwelcomed stay, there wouldn’t be any pleasantries included.
After that, I reacted the best way I knew how, moving as quickly as I could to find my dream team. For those who are in advertising they will understand. I took it as a work campaign that I was getting briefed on and that I was leading headfirst from inception to execution. In this case, what was on the line wasn’t “likes” or in market performance – it was my life and my will to live.
And so it began, my relationship with breast cancer.
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